Tutoring your OWN kid can be fun and challenging at the same time. For some parents, it has become their bonding moment with their children.
Others have developed a relationship when it comes to the study habit formation.
However, there are also those times…
When parents are already too tired because of the daily grind we all face– drive from work, 8-5 non stop meetings in the office/ client calls, minding the grocery, meal planning, breastfeeding and even house management.
These things may cause us to have a little less patience than usual.
Imagine this scenario:
The LPG gas ran out in the middle of cooking dinner and now your nilagang baka is still as hard as stone.
It’s already 8 o’clock in the evening and your 3 year old daughter is already throwing tantrums because she is hungry and even your house helpers are hungry. Your husband is close to the house too from a two-hour traffic battle in EDSA. LPG delivery boy is still nowhere in sight.
Dinner is supposed to be cooked but it isn’t. You’re supposed to do many more things aside from helping your 5th grade son in printing his homework.
You don’t know what’s wrong but all of a sudden your internet slowed down and you cannot download the current event your son is supposed to submit tomorrow. (Then you realized that your toddler has been watching Peppa Pig on YouTube which caused you to reach your bandwidth cap so the internet is really expected to slow down.)
The printer also decided to act up together with the LPG and the internet. And now, you need to perform nozzle check, print check patterns before you can utilize it properly.
You are very hungry yourself.
Helping your son with his homework in AP by searching for a current event headline which the printer wouldn’t print, reviewing for a long test in pre Algebra which you have already forgotten and recapping previous lessons for a short quiz in Filipino tackling Pokus at Aspekto ng Pandiwa can really put too much pressure on you right now.
The intermission numbers of your son, (sharpening the pencils until the only thing sticking out is the eraser) are certainly not helping your patience either.
Your son also who seems to pee a little too often every time you are supposed to sit and study makes you want to scream already.
Your temper becomes shorter. Your patience becomes thinner.
And again, you need to explain how x-6 becomes 10. But you have been explaining this for the nth time and he still doesn’t get it.
Alas! You snap.
It’s not the doing too many things that should prompt you in hiring a tutor. Having more time is merely an offshoot.
The real purpose of hiring tutors is recognizing that we have our limitations – may it be patience, time or knowledge.
Outsourcing tutoring is God’s way of inviting you to work with others into reaching the aspirations you have set for yourself and for your children.
The end goal of getting professional help when it comes to tutoring is realizing that every time spent with your children is precious. It shouldn’t be filled with tears and screams and threats.
It should be a happy one.
Let me tell you a secret.
I run a tutoring center. I’m a teacher myself.
But, I let one of my tutors handle my Grade 1 son, Travis.
I used to teach him, however, I noticed that I am impatient when it comes to him. Maybe because its not the only time I spend with him in the day. My patience grows thin when it takes him an hour just to write his name blue line to blue line.
I do not want him to resent studying because of me. I do not want him to feel that I am angry 90% of the time when I am with him.
I do not want to vent out my frustrations and lash it out on any of my children especially Travis when I tutor him (during the times when I am having a tough day at work.)
So, I made a switch.
I want him to remember that whenever he is with mommy, we deal with problems without being mad and that we go out on fun dates every Friday, no matter how busy I am.
Just the two of us.
I don’t want to be bothered by the many, many tasks WE ARE TO FINISH such as reviewing for quizzes and doing his regular assignments together.
All I want is for us to have a simple peaceful merienda or movie date without being in a hurry. I choose to have a pleasant mood when I am with my children, as much as I could.
In order for me to do that, I needed someone who will take the pressures off my back.
I still do his reviewers every quarter but I let other tutors prepare him. As a parent, I still do my share of checking his assignment notebook daily and seeing if he has done all of his home works. I still diligently sign all the reply slips and memos from the school. I plot all the important dates where they require our (parents) presence such as family day, musicale, career day, moving up ceremony, report card and sports fests. I support him with all the materials or costumes he needs. I work hand in hand with his homeroom adviser. That is my share, as his mother.
I chose to do all those while running our business, driving him to school everyday, running the household, and taking care of the house and car maintenance.
My husband does a lot at home and at building the systems of our children’s future too.
But we choose to work with other people so we can do many of the other things and have more quality time with our children. God wants us to acknowledge that we have our strengths and weaknesses. And those weaknesses are like big panaflex signage that tells us that we should invite other people to bless us with their time and talent.
On a final note, having a tutor doesn’t mean being disengaged in our children’s academic life. It is still knowing about what is happening in his home and school life but without the pressure of having so much to do with so little time.
It is working wisely by “duplicating yourself” in the person of the tutor.
About the Author:
CJay Bautista graduated with a degree in AB Communication from Miriam College. She was a corporate trainer for Olympic Village and has conducted various workshops for companies such as Pilipinas Shell Petroleum Corporation, Hizon’s Catering, Jockey Philippines and FEU-Diliman.
She was a public speaking teacher in Miriam College and also served as one of the youngest school administrator as the Admissions Coordinator prior to her marriage.
Currently, she is the president of LEAD TUTORIAL CENTER which she has started in the six sqm living area of their condominium way back 2010. From its humble beginnings, LEAD Tutorial Center now has its own building and has employed deserving college students in need of financial assistance.
She is also the CEO of Hanapskwela.com, a school search website with the most comprehensive list of schools in Metro Manila. Hanapskwela.com which went live May 2015 is currently expanding to featuring a vast database of all the schools in the Philippines and is also giving free worksheets to help students and parents.
She is a proud wife to a wonderful husband and is the mother of two active and happy children.
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